Bad Things Happen in 3’s.
When my 12 step recovery friends noticed me thinking like this, my sponsor or someone always said, “Don’t put God in a box.”
And what that meant was. Janneke, you can’t figure God out, whether in His infinite wisdom and abundance, not in catastrophe or loss. Don’t try to put God in a box of “luck” or your own thinking.
I don’t recall ever hearing the “Bad Luck Comes in 3’s” thought from survivors of World War II, other wars, or trauma. I think its because in wartime, the bad is multiplied so exponentially. The abyss ,where safety and security used to be, the bad, the unbelievable, the shocking, are all so enormous.
I also realize that those of us who used to say, “Bad Luck Comes in 3’s,” were talking about the deeply upsetting, yet not about the complete chaos of war.
I had time to reflect on the old belief, “Bad Luck Comes in 3’s” recently, after my son survived – yes survived – thank God survived, a very bad car accident.
We are still going off to the chiropractor, the counselor, the massage therapist, yet basically – my son is fine and his car is not. His car is totaled. He was alone in his car ended up in an accident that was unavoidable. It happened on a highway near us, well known as dangerous. The other driver, also alone in her car, was much more badly hurt, and we hear she is now out of hospital and home.
Three weeks ago, our beloved standard poodle had emergency surgery. It was expensive and scary, because she too is a member of the family.
So, just for a little while the other day, I thought, “Bad things happen in 3’s. What will be number 3?” But this is not true, and no one can put God in a box. I can say, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. So that’s what I am saying, thank you.
I am sad for all the war survivors who had to go numb for years, in order to survive. If these things were happening to our family in war time, due to brutality, starvation or battles, we would have no safety zone in which to recover. I find survivors start recovery again when:
- They find their safety zone again, no war, shelter, food, love.
- Safe people to say to, “Why me?” or “How could God let this happen?” Or “Where was God?” Or “I’ll never forgive, I’ll never get over this.” Or “I can never let myself cry about this, I’ll cry for ever.”
- When they decide those trauma infused thoughts just aren’t true, and instead think, “I won’t cry forever, it is safe to feel.” “I might never fully understand, yet I believe God is loving.”
- When a risk is taken, the risk of faith in a Higher Power
- Or the risk of intimate friendship and sharing.
Would you like to share here?
Tell me if you have every put God in a box, or stopped feeling, or took the risk of sharing again.