Mommy makes a silly smiley face and says “Ahhh..boo!” and baby answers, “Ahhh…boo!” and smiles back.
As adults we still do this. My husband will go out on an overcast day of misty rain, when LIGHT is beginning to break through the clouds, and he says what I usually say, he is mirroring. It’s my version of “Ahhhhh…boo!” What he says is, “Ah, this weather reminds me of when I lived in Holland.”
But Don has never been to Holland (The Netherlands). I smile back, because he is reflecting what I say. He also reflects my sorrow.
When we were still dating, Don helped me to move, an act of great courage! We ran across these coveralls, which were my last vestige of my memories of Beppe en Pake (grandmother and grandfather). I told him the story (See Sweetness after Trauma 4 – Coveralls) about treasuring every moment on the boerderij (farm), traipsing about in my blue coveralls.
So I had saved my last pair of coveralls, fortunately bought to be enormous, to grow into. Year after year I squeezed into my Dutch coveralls, here in the U.S., and went out to play.
As a teen, I still hadn’t given up on my boerderij and Beppe en Pake memories. I could no longer squeeze into the coveralls, so I cut off the bottom half, made them into a jacket embroidered with Beppe and Pake, a Dutch sailboat, and the flowers found in farm fields. Today the coveralls hang on my writing-room wall.
On packing day, Don held and stroked the coveralls as if he held my heart. In that moment he did hold my heart, I finished falling in love with him.
Who loves you and how?
Perhaps you want to say with me,
Help me to know who loves me today,
Help me to know, Creator that the love I receive fromf family and friends is a dim reflection of how you love me. You know my joyful and painful memories and hold each one in your hands.
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.- Kahlil Gibran
“Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day (Psalm 139:13-16, MSG).”
You are love, even if you don’t know it, you are loved.
“Let us love you, until you love yourself.”
(Heard at 12 Step Meetings)